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Uncle Greg's Internationally Famous Most Excellent Biscuits
Greg
Anja's Sock Puppet
Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Posts: 6672
Location: Happy Valley
Post Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:41 am
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Uncle Greg's Internationally Famous* Most Excellent Biscuits

Abandon your diet! Forget Bisquick! You're about 20 minutes away from a batch of the best biscuits you've ever tasted!

1. Set the oven to 450 deg F and get it preheating.

2. Put the dry ingredients into a large mixing bowl and mix it all up with a wire whisk
I think the wire whisk is one of the most fun toys in the kitchen.
    2 cups all-purpose flour
    1 tablespoon sugar
    1 tablespoon baking powder
    1 teaspoon cream of tartar
    1/4 teaspoon salt


3. Add
    1/2 cup Butter-Flavor Crisco
    Alton Brown recommends this stuff so it's good enough for me! It comes in convenient sticks now. Easy to measure; no mess.


4. Cut in the Butter-Flavor Crisco with a pastry blender
You should get something that has a consistency sort of like corn meal.

5. Make a well in the center of the mixture.
I do this by spinning the bowl to get a concave surface, just because it's more fun that way! The idea is to set it up so that the milk will come in contact with the flour mixture instead of making puddles of liquid at the sides of the bowl.

6. Add all at once to the center of the mixture:
    2/3 cup whole milk


7. Use a spoon to stir in the milk.

8. Now for the fun part. Clear the clutter off of a section of the kitchen countertop and give it a good cleaning with hot, soapy water. Rinse it off and dry thoroughly with a towel.
If you have a fancy ceramic tile counter, first tear it out and replace it with a good, solid Formica surface. Unless you are doing this in the universe of The Sims, that will add some additional time to this recipe.

9. Sprinkle flour in the center of your clean counter. Cover and area about 18 inches in diameter. Be generous; flour is cheap. Spread it around with your hands. Don't clean the dusty flour off of your hands because you'll want floury fingers for the next step.

10. Dump the dough into the middle of the counter. Pat it flat with your hands. Fold it over and flatten it again, about a dozen times. Your goal is to achieve a smooth texture to the dough without over-working it. As you fold and press you will be working more flour into the dough.

If you want to dress up the raggedy edges of your dough, fold it into itself in thirds. Do this with the first couple of folds so that you get nice even layers with the later folds. The batch in the picture could have used a few more folds.

11. When you've had a satisfactory session of playing with the dough, roll it out about 1/2 inch thick. If you can't find the rolling pin (it's behind the pizza pan) just flatten it with your fingers.

12. Search all through the drawers for your cookie cutters. When you fail to find them, decide that the rim of a large juice glass will make a better biscuit cutter anyhow. Cut the dough into little hockey pucks.
You'll get about 9 biscuits with this recipe, plus the dough that you ate while you were playing with it.

13. Arrange the biscuits on an ungreased cookie sheet. Leave a little space between biscuits unless you like them to stick together. (Hey, some people do!)

14. Bake 'em in a 450-degree oven for slightly more than 10 minutes.
Now is a good time to clean the flour off the counter.

15. Rescue the biscuits from the cookie sheet as soon as they're out of the oven. Otherwise the hot cookie sheet with burn their li'l bottoms.

16. Arrange the warm biscuits on a plate.

17. Get out your digital camera and take a picture of them.

18. Post the picture at the Hullabaloo!



*Nancy mentioned my thing about biscuits to Latricia one time, and that makes them internationally famous! So there!
:razz4:

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Greg
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Uncle Greg's Internationally Famous Most Excellent Biscuits
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